This is SO not me LOL

I’ve always loved to exercise, though unfortunately my lifestyle has not lent itself to nearly the level I once enjoyed, nor the amount I now require, for that matter.

One of the activities I have found most gratifying both physically and mentally is yoga. So much so that for a couple of years I practiced yoga daily. And it was then that I was probably my most chill, as I conditioned my mind to find a quiet center, and so many little life annoyances—traffic, obnoxious people, an out-of-control life–just stopped bothering me.

But as my schedule somehow grew more demanding, yoga became one more added stress in my life—a have-to that I felt guilty if I missed, but anxious if I attended, knowing as I did I was failing to perform some other mandate in its stead.

So while yoga at first presented itself as downright medicinal, it became, well, I don’t want to say toxic, but it became contraindicated. I know, I have people in Yogaville right now wanting to injure me upon reading my suggestion that yoga is anything but peaceful, except that it’s so un-yoga-like to want to injure someone. What I mean by that statement is that yoga became part of my stress. But it wasn’t yoga’s fault! It was all my doing; I was simply incapable of letting yoga do what it was supposed to do: relax me. Instead, my yoga practice became a practice in managing high blood pressure, because the longer I was at yoga, the more I was internally freaking out about what I had to do but wasn’t doing because I was doing what I wanted to do which wasn’t what I should be doing because I needed to be doing other things. Yoga=Peace became Yoga=Internal Strife.

Finally I had to bid farewell to yoga, much to my chagrin. Which of course has caused more stress, which, I know, would be ameliorated by just practicing yoga. But I’m trapped in a Type-A-need-to-earn-money-to-send-my-kids-to-college-and-god-forbid-dream-of-retiring-some-day-without-having-to-hand-out-smiley-face-stickers-at-WalMart-till-I-keel-over vicious cycle, the tail wagging the dog and the dog eating the cat (or in my case, the parrot) and who knows what else.

But I think I have a solution to my quandary that will enable me to return to my practice without feeling one iota of anxiety: Stress yoga! I want to become the Doyenne of Stress Yoga. I will be to yoga what Jane Fonda is to aerobics. Or what the Hamburglar is to McDonalds. You decide.

Now hear me out. For years Hollywood has masterfully hybridized something good-for-you with something usually ludicrous, just to test the limits. In the lingo of L.A., they’ve taken exercise and made it High Concept. For the uninitiated, High Concept is flipping something on its head to make you say “Huh!” Like blending Jane Austen with zombies in a novel (bet you never thought you’d read that one, did you?).

Some of the quirkier Hollywood workout trends? Paddle surfing (canoeing and surfing). Budokon (a fusion of yoga, martial arts and meditation). The Katana sword workout (à la Kill Bill, only with foam swords). Hoopnastics (hula hoop, yoga, ballet and pilates). Boogie Box (hip-hop and kickboxing). Piloxing (pilates and boxing). Or how about Bollylates (Bollywood dancing with Pilates). (I confess, I just made that last one up, but it probably will be a fad soon enough). But Naked Yoga is indeed a reality that could only be gotten away with in Hollywood—with any lesser physiques in attendance, the entire class would have to be conducted blindfolded. Although I would argue that seeing Nicholas Cage engaged in naked yoga is enough to make me run the other direction.

picturing what lies beneath this caped crusader doing yoga scares me

And in a cruel reversal of the trend, someone is making a killing on a new L.A. fitness craze called Celebrity Jogging, which doesn’t involve celebrities jogging, but rather everyday schlubs running from hotspot to hotspot, cameras at the ready, trying to spot celebrities while elevating their heart rates. They should call that the Stalking Workout.

Hollywood types are known for launching all sorts of trends in the name of health and fitness (or at least thinness)—the latest being weeks-long cleanses in which you ingest only a concoction of maple syrup, lemon juice and cayenne pepper. Or vinegar, if you really want to be wild. By comparison my workout will be downright healthful. Besides, you’ve already heard of Power Yoga, right? I’m just taking it one step further.

Stress Yoga might well be my salvation, since I can readily market it to an ever-busier population that just might have no choice but to multi-task being extremely stressed while being centered and ultra-chill. All I need to do is market this class (which is, if nothing else, slightly ironic) to the right people and I’m guaranteed if the power-workout fiends in Los Angeles take to it (and who wouldn’t? Those folks have to be as stressed as they come) I am bound to strike it rich. And if I become rich, then I’ll have time on my hands and voila, I’ll be able to return to yoga, stress-free.

Hey, at least it’s not Naked Hula-Hoop-Swordplay-Hip-Hop-Kickboxing Pilates, right?

I’ve been remiss in getting my friend Wendy Tokunaga’s guest visit posted up here–tis the season to fail in many to-do’s  I think. But I wanted to be sure you all got to meet Wendy and check out her latest novel, Love in Translation (love the cover!), which I think you will really enjoy (and you should definitely check out Wendy’s totally cool song she wrote and sings about the novel here) 

Tell me a little about Love in Translation.

After receiving a puzzling phone call and a box full of mysteries, 33-year-old fledgling singer Celeste Duncan is off to Japan to search for a long, lost relative who could hold the key to the identity of the father she never knew. This overwhelming place where nothing is quite as it seems changes Celeste in ways she never expected, leading her to ask: What is the true meaning of family? And what does it mean to discover your own voice?

What got you writing in the genre in which you write?

I started writing fiction after I took a job as a technical writer. Many of my colleagues wrote fiction on the side and I decided to join them. I took a creative writing course at a community college and ended up writing a number of short stories. Eventually I got a few published and then I decided to tackle writing a novel. How hard could that be? Well, after hundreds and hundreds of rejections I finally sold my first novel, which was the fifth one I’d actually written.

What’s your favorite thing about being a writer?

That I get paid for doing something that I love and can devote a good chunk of time to the creative process.

Least favorite thing about being a writer?

Being asked when I’m going to be on Oprah. Thank goodness her show is ending.

What is the most interesting thing that’s happened to you since becoming a published author?

Meeting people who read my books who don’t know me personally.

What’s your favorite type of pie?

My mother’s lemon meringue.

It seems as if I’ve known Melissa Senate for years—we’ve been on a few of the same online writing groups since we were young and innocent writers…As if we ever were! I’m excited to have her visit today to talk about her newest novel, The Secret of Joy (don’t you love the cover).

Welcome, Melissa! Tell me a little about your book.

A: 28-year-old New Yorker Rebecca Strand is shocked when her dying father confesses a devastating secret: he had affair when Rebecca was a toddler—and a baby he turned his back on at birth. Now, his wish is that the daughter he abandoned, Joy Joyhawk, read the unsent letters he wrote to her every year on her birthday. Determined to fulfill her father’s wish, Rebecca drives to a small town in Maine—against the advice of her lawyer boyfriend who’s sure Joy will be a “disappointing, trashy opportunist” and demand half her father’s fortune. But when hopeful Rebecca knocks on her half-sister’s door, Joy—a separated mother who conducts weekend singles tours out of her orange mini-bus—wants nothing to do with Rebecca or the letters her father wrote to her. Determined to forge some kind of relationship with Joy, Rebecca sticks around, finding unexpected support from Joy’s best clients—the Divorced Ladies Club of Wiscasset—and a sexy carpenter named Theo . . . .

What got you writing in the genre in which you write

A: My voice, and the book inside me for years, was very much chick lit. The timing on the market opening up for it and my sitting down to write my first novel, See Jane Date, was just pure happy luck. As my life—and my writing—has changed, so has the market. I’d say The Secret of Joy is a happy hybrid of chick lit and women’s fiction.

Favorite thing about being a writer?

A: Figuring out how I feel about something via a fictional character. I was inspired to write The Secret of Joy because I didn’t know how I felt about an email I received out of the blue: I think you might be my half sister. I was. Am. I fictionalized the scenario and sent my characters off to help me answer my burning questions. Love that about writing fiction. You can really explore how you feel from the safety of someone else’s life. Well, fictional life.

Least favorite thing about being a writer?

A: When the words won’t come!

What is the most interesting thing that’s happened to you since becoming a published author?

A: Since my debut in 2001, I’ve: been taped for Oprah (but ended up on the cutting room floor), had my debut made into TV movie, gotten married, had baby, gotten divorced and a few more interesting things, but maybe the most unexpected is that there’s a question about me in the 20^th Anniversary Edition of Trivial Pursuit: Which 2001 Melissa Senate title attempts to lure young female readers to romance by hearkening back to Dick and Jane. Answer: See Jane Date. That was unexpected!

What’s your favorite type of pie?

A: Pumpkin pie and the season for it is here!! It’s always pumpkin pie season for me, but the best bakeries and restaurants will have it for the next few weeks. Yum.