101 Uses for Those Unused Tampons that Unravel in Your Purse
Hi all! Sorry I’ve been slack about posting lately but between deadlines and the month of May, I’m out of steam! But for you, I’m dredging up something my friends and I came up with one night over a couple of bottles of wine. It was good for a few laughs then…Not so sure if by the light of day it’s quite so amusing…You decide.
Okay, ladies, you’ve all faced this dilemma. You’re rifling through your purse, digging for your keys, sunglasses, wallet, whatever, when you pull up at least one and probably several unusable tampons, the wrappers half-unraveled, no longer something you want to use for their intended purpose. Yet it seems such a waste to just toss them in the trash bin. After much deliberation and consultation with experts, and in the interest of economy and ecology, I have compiled an extensive list of suggested uses for these seemingly useless items. Next time you start digging in your purse, you too can imagine the possibilities…
(oh, and by the way, there might be exactly 101…I got tired of counting!)
Top Uses for Unravelled Tampons
1) Stop those annoying nose bleeds
2) Ear plugs
3) Pretend sticks of dynamite for the kids
4) Mop up small spills on the floor
5) Effectively dabs away tears
6) Unusual hair accessory
7) Tie several together to make unique pompom
8 ) Plug holes in boat
9) Creative dangly earrings
10) Zit cover-up applicator
11) Christmas ornament
12) Pasties in a pinch
13) String along rope for one of a kind garland décor
14) Toothbrush of last resort
15) Drapery tassles
16) Roll in catnip to drive your cat crazy with insta-kitty toy
17) Fringe for flapper dress
18) Pull cord for lamp or ceiling fan
19) Unique tool for sponge painting
20) Finial for curtain rods
21) Plug holes in dikes
22) Dab on pizza to absorb excess grease
23) Avante garde indoor plant decoration
24) Tie on dog’s tail and watch Fido chase his tail for hours
25) Dental cotton
26) Useful paint applicator
27) Use to skim fat from surface of soup broth
28) Tassels for loafers
29) Makes great parrot toy
30) Ideal for quick dusting of crumbs from moustache
31) Dip in hot wax, then ignite string end for unusual taper
32) Tie clusters on ends of bike handlebars, watch them flap in the wind!
33) Decorate bumpers of newlyweds car
34) Tongue depressor (added bonus, ends problematic side affect of drooling)
35) Great pretend rescue float for Lifeguard Barbie
36) Dip in hot wax and use as sink-proof key ring for boat keys
37) Starter kindling for fireplace
38) Collect lots and use for confetti
39) Paint in pretty pastel colors and tie together for stylish bouquet
40) Final touch for gift wrap packaging—no more curling ribbon!
41) Suspend in clusters from tomato stakes to frighten deer and crows away
42) Glue on rim of picture frame for textured look
43) Just for fun, fill sink with water, see how many it takes to absorb all the water in the sink!
44) Science experiments
45) Great for cleaning test tubes
46) Use to polish sunglasses
47) Wrap with old tootsie roll wrapper and fool your friends when you offer them candy!
48) Soak in witch hazel, squeeze out, and press over puffy eyes
49) Perfect shape for cleaning out dogs’ ears
50) Glue several, end to end, leaving string on one end. paint camouflage earth tones, tease your sister with authentic fake snake
51) Pretend cigar
52) Polka dot applicator
53) Tie on car antenna for ease in finding vehicle in crowded parking lot
54) Makes great protective packaging materials instead of landfill-unfriendly Styrofoam
55) Tie string in loop, use as napkin ring
56) Have crazy tampon battle with your friends: just aim and shoot
57) Use cardboard tube to shoot spitballs (added bonus: you can even use wrapper for spitball!)
58) Tube makes a fun straw
59) Poke holes in tube to make a slide whistle
60) Connect cardboard tubes together for chopsticks
61) Insert pointer finger in cardboard tube and annoy friends by tapping them with it
62) Glue tubes together in random format to make reindeer antlers for Christmas play
63) Replacement Nerf gun ammunition
64) Cardboard tube is great storage for your favorite pens
65) Cardboard tube makes perfect spyglass
66) Secure tampons at armpit, avoid embarrassing pit stains on dry clean only clothes
67) Pacifier/drool inhibitor for teething baby
68) Place between toes during pedicure
69) Drop in outdoor fountain for “instant water lily”
70) Connect cardboard tubes together for drumsticks
71) Unscrupulous plumber trick: drop down drain before leaving plumbing job; guarantees a return call to find source of new clog
72) Tape to finger tips and enjoy gratifying thump thump thump while drumming fingers
73) More effective than sandbags for halting encroaching flood waters
74) Snip off string and works as comfie Barbie neck pillow
75) Great tool for hypnosis (you are getting sleepy)
76) Fill tube w/ coffee beans, cover ends w/ pointer finger and thumb for handy percussion instrument
Okay so I don’t have quite 101, but I’ll add more if I think of them. In the meantime, saving the last for last…
101) Dangle in front of husband to use as excuse to get out of sex (don’t have to say you have a headache, just shrug your shoulders and say, “Gee, can’t honey, I’m having my period!”). He’ll run the other way with no questions asked.
Yes, folks, this was made entirely of tampons. How’s that for creativity?
Categories: News, Sleeping with Ward Cleaver
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Stagmom says:
Repair ailing levies throughout South. That chandelier is scary.
jennygardiner says:
Oooh, that’s a good one! Wonder i we can somehow fix the savings and loan crisis with tampons?
Suzy says:
I need a bad nosebleed once and the ER docs told me to shove one up my nose. It stops the bleeding and exerts pressure on the area although you can’t breathe.
jennygardiner says:
yeah I could see the breathing being inhibited by that…
jennygardiner says:
i knew you’d enjoy it ;-) (wait’ll you see my follow-up LOL)
Aunt Flow says:
Loved your 101 uses… you might get a chuckle from my website regarding “other uses” for tampons – Carpons! :-)
Mellisa says:
“Okay, ladies, you’ve all faced this dilemma. You’re rifling through your purse, digging for your keys, sunglasses, wallet, whatever, when you pull up at least one and probably several unusable tampons, the wrappers half-unraveled, no longer something you want to use for their intended purpose. ” This is great post. Very informative.
jennygardiner says:
;-)
shannon says:
I will now keep tampons in my purse at all times. I had put a can of soda in my purse on my way to work (unopened) when I got to work, the can was empty, it had a hole it it! Oh boy I was upset, started pulling things out, and found they weren’t as wet as I thought they would be. I got to the bottom of my purse and found out why. 3 rat sized, super absorbant tampons. They had soaked up all the soda and saved the contents of my purse. Yeah, tampons.
jennygardiner says:
that cracked me up!
LG says:
You can make a pipe to smoke pot from the cardboard tube and a piece of aluminum foil.
jennygardiner says:
haha! hilarious!
Frugal says:
One other use that I didn’t see mentioned here. When you have a molar pulled at the dentist and the hole bleeds for four hours, don’t use gauze, use tampons instead! They last longer!
jennygardiner says:
that’s a great idea!
Will Fehlow says:
Did you include plugging fresh bullet holes? ArtOfManliness website says that army medics have carried them in their medical kits for this purpose, sounds like a plan… Love the last one, #101, to get out of sex… now WHY would anyone want to get out of… oh, nevermind! :)))))))
jennygardiner says:
that’s a great one–hilarious!
Kathy says:
I laughed so hard I couldn’t read them 😂 but I managed hardest that I have laughed in years.
jennygardiner says:
awww glad you got a good laugh LOL! thanks for checking it out!
Philip says:
Hermit crabs use the applicator tubes as homes