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Category: Jenny Gardiner

Traveling Outside My Comfort Zone

Several years ago I decided to break out of my comfort zone. Far, far out of my comfort zone. I’m the girl who thinks “roughing it” means no blow dryer. I am decidedly NOT a hiker, not a backpacker, and certainly not a very outdoors-y kinda gal.

So I decided to walk across part of Switzerland and Italy. With a backpack. In the woods. Alone. With 3 shirts, 1 pair of shorts, 1 pair of pants, 1 skort, 2 pairs of socks, 2 pair of underwear, and not much else. My backpack weighed around 18 pounds. I did not bring a blow dryer (but I’m not gonna lie: I thought long and hard about it). Did I mention I was going to be hiking? All day long? For weeks on end?

The original plan was to walk/hike along the Via Francigena—a pilgrimage route that spans from Canterbury, England, to Rome, best known for Sigeric the Serious, Archbishop of Canterbury, who walked the length of it in the 10th century to receive his papal vestments in Rome. I was going to walk part of it for the better part of a month (it takes 3+ months to walk the entirety).

Why would I do this? It’s complicated. But let’s just say I had just been looking for an interesting place to take a very long walk, to do something just so not me, and when I found out about the Via Francigena and realized it went through a good swath of Italy (including Tuscany, which I adore), which is one of my happy places, I was thrilled to do it—hike by day, pasta and wine by night—what’s not to love?

Well, I sheepishly admit that for me, it was the hiking bit that wasn’t to love. I mean I was okay with it. Ish. Hiking up into the Swiss Alps was spectacular. The picture of me with the St. Bernards was taken at the Great St. Bernard Pass at 8,100 feet—after hiking to the top, enjoying breathtaking views along the way. This is where Napoleon’s army invaded Italy, and partly follows ancient Roman roads. The Hospice at the top (where I stayed) has been in existence since 1049 (founded by St. Bernard of Menthon), and became famous for its use of St. Bernards in rescue operations (think: the famous barrel of brandy on their necks).

Hiking down from the St. Bernard Pass into Aosta was just beyond beautiful, with the cheery clang of cowbells punctuating the wind song coursing through the hills and valleys.

But there were parts of the hike that were just super boring—like I could have been hiking in the woods behind my house rather than in Italy. And I kept thinking, I’m in Italy and I could be in, say, Florence, rather than walking in 100-degree heat on a fire trail schvitzing my butt off while depleting my rapidly dwindling water supply, or along a busy roadside, foraging berries, only to look above the branch I just ate blackberries from, only to see a dirty diaper dancing from the thorny branches. Yummmm…

I was hearing the siren call of Italy loud and clear, and it was calling to me, big time, rather than resorting to listening to my iPod for the fifth time in a row, thoroughly bored with my own company. The deal-breaker was the road-walking part of it.

Walking for miles on 2-lane roads in Italy with broken glass, trash and doggy doo lost its appeal for sure, and one day when I was leaving a town during rush hour and was crossing a traffic circle and rolled my ankle and the weight of my backpack threw me into the circle (had there been a car coming I’d have been a goner) kind of helped me decide to adopt a Plan B. Don’t get me wrong: I am in serious awe of people who will hike 15 miles a day for 3 months to get from Canterbury, England, to Rome. But I recognize that is so not in my wheelhouse. 

I just read The Sun Is a Compass, the most amazing book about a couple who trekked 4,000 miles over six months from the Pacific Rainforest to the Alaskan Arctic.

I decided to find my way to Florence, where I parked myself in a hostel for a while, then rented a tiny Panda smart car and drove toward Rome, staying for a couple of nights in a real castle that had been in the same family since the 11th century. The lovely owner gave me a tour; I even got to walk the drawbridge. The castle walls were pockmarked with divots from cannonball hits from wars over the centuries (some cannonballs were even used as wall decorations in the gardens). It was actually kind of a spooky place to be alone at night, but it was a fun and interesting experience.

I ended my trip by meeting my husband in Rome then training it to the glorious Amalfi Coast. Prior to his coming, I Facetimed him in my closet and gave him explicit instructions of what to bring for me in a real, live, suitcase,

After weeks of no make-up, no blow dryers and hand washing my undies and socks nightly in hostel and pilgrim facility sinks, I was probably a little too excited for real clothes. But I was also thrilled to be with my husband—I found it to be very lonely to be out there alone in the woods, occasionally lost. Argh! Getting lost was the WORST, because it would sometimes add a mile or two to what was already a 12+-mile walk for the day. 

I cherish the experience, and it was good to learn that just like how I already knew I detest cilantro, I already  knew I wasn’t a hiker or an outdoorsy girl, and it reaffirmed that I’m super fine with hotels and airbnbs and even hostels—and restaurants and amazing history to immerse myself in as well. It was super cool to find myself occasionally walking on Roman roads, and to imagine the history that preceded my treading on them, but I was more than happy to find myself back in civilization with the comforts of, well, civilization!

Read more about my adventures here:  Via Francigena

Red Hot Romeo Sneak Peek

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Chapter One

Alessandro Romeo was sipping his Negroni on the rocks, enjoying a beautiful sunset on the terrace of his winery’s palazzo that overlooked his family’s vast estate, when he noticed a fat curl of dark smoke trailing skyward on the other side of the sprawling Tuscan manor home. Quickly setting his drink aside, he raced down the terrace steps, rushed through a gauntlet of tall, narrow cypress trees, and across the Italian garden in front of the palazzo as the acrid smell of smoke grew stronger and black clouds of it enveloped more of the once-melon-colored, late-day sky.

In the distance, he spotted a tiny white sports car racing down the estate’s long, cypress-lined driveway just as he finally came upon the source of the now-choking smoke: his beloved Lamborghini Aventador Superveloce—a cool half million dollars of premier driving pleasure—sizzling away with the crackle of fire and lick of flames that were embracing his dream car and turning it into a veritable conflagration.

Aiuto!” Sandro shouted, calling for the farmhands to help, if not to salvage his burning car, then at least to keep the vehicle from exploding and injuring someone. “Help! Bring water, prontissimo!”

The Cantine dei Marchesi Romeo was a vineyard with many employees still working into late afternoon in the fields, so within a minute several workers had arrived, directing hoses and buckets of water to douse the fire until all that was left were the charred remains of his beloved sports car. Sandro felt grateful that at least they’d stopped the fire before it spread.

Vaffanculo, si strega,” Sandro said, shaking his fist in rage toward the now-long-departed car he’d seen racing away from the scene. Fuck off, you witch. It didn’t take much to deduce who’d torched the thing: he’d just seen the taillights of his hot-tempered, on-again/off-again girlfriend Gia Sandretti’s convertible trailing down the long drive. The woman had already resorted to plenty of other extreme ways to express her irrational jealous rages, including recently impaling him with the heel of one of her Manolo Blahniks—which resulted in five stitches to his arm—so he knew immediately that this bore her telltale fingerprints.

He’d tried to extricate himself from the relationship more times than he could count at this point; it hadn’t been but a few months into dating her that he knew she had a streak of green running through her like a river of toxic waste. Alessandro couldn’t so much as inadvertently glance at another woman, even in a magazine, without Gia flipping out on him, which meant the usual stream of foul language spewed at him alongside crazed accusations and the occasional hurled glass object or other breakable.

By nature a genial and fun-loving guy, he’d put up with it, thinking that eventually she’d find her way to another man to harass, but as much as he’d tried to let her go gently so as not to trigger her impetuous fury, she simple wasn’t getting the hint.

Sure Gia, a stunningly statuesque brunette, was gorgeous, but he hadn’t taken to calling her Crazy Gia for nothing. And the last thing Sandro needed in his life was a drama-queen fashion model with no self-control who acted more like a secret police interrogator than a lover.

Sandro had met Gia at one of the many social functions he normally attended as principle of the world-famous Cantine dei Marchesi Romeo winemakers. His was an Italian family with a history of six hundred years of wine-making and roots that reached back to the days of Italian nobility and the famed house of Savoy. His family had immediate ties to the royals of neighboring Monaforte as well, as his uncle Enrico, Duke of Santo Miele, was married to that country’s Queen Ariana.

Officially Alessandro’s title was Marchese Alessandro Romeo, but he tended to downplay that archaic terminology except when necessary at official events where the cachet of the royal title helped with his family business. Or as was more often the case in the past, when it helped him pick up beautiful women.

No doubt it’s what had drawn Gia to him in the first place, aside from his handsome good looks. He wore his thick, wavy dark hair to near his shoulders, often pulled back in a ponytail, and sported a neatly trimmed goatee and moustache that proved irresistible to many women. His sincere brown eyes caused them to swoon even more. Throw in a royal title, a famous family name, and plenty of wealth, and Sandro was delicious catnip that most women simply couldn’t resist. Except when it came to nutters like Gia, who seemed to want to push him away, all while clinging desperately to him as if he were a gangrenous appendage. But this was the last straw with her; this time he would file a police complaint and ensure that she was no longer allowed anywhere near him nor could she have anything to do with him. Enough was enough.

~*~

Six weeks later…

Sandro dusted off his hands and placed them on his hips, beaming as he gazed at the object of his near-undivided attention for the past six years: the design and building of a massive new headquarters, a place that would house the offices of Marchesi Romeo wines but also become a tourist destination for wine lovers the world over. It had been Sandro’s dream to create this destination venue, something he’d imagined for several years prior to actually implementing the plan.

He and his family had collaborated with one of the top Italian architects to envision the one-of-a-kind design of the building, constructed with local materials, intended to keep in harmony with the landscape while remaining environmentally friendly, energy efficient, and ultimately to serve as a veritable work of art in the Tuscan countryside. And in a few days, others would finally be able to share in Sandro’s dream come true at the grand-opening gala. Guests who would attend included celebrities, political leaders, prominent local officials, and of course family and friends.

Sandro had reached out to his favorite cousin, Luca, the youngest of the Monaforte princes, to ensure his attendance. Monaforte was a small European principality on the Mediterranean with strong ties to Italy.

“You know I’ll disown you if you don’t show up,” Sandro said, teasing his dearest friend. “I’ll cut off your vino supply—hit you where it’ll hurt most.”

Luca had for a long time been Sandro’s social sidekick but last year had settled into a relationship with a European-based American reporter named Larkin Mallory, and now it was as if he barely left the comfort of his living room. Sandro hated how complacent men became once they got “whipped”: always at the woman’s beck and call, never free to do as they pleased.

Now that Gia was out of the picture, he was going to make sure he didn’t allow a woman to cloud his judgment and create hassles for him ever again. No thank you. The loss of his expensive sports car was a small price to pay to learn that lesson.

“I’d be crazy not to show up at this one,” Luca said. “It’s the event of the season, I hear. Even homebodies like me will be there.”

“Homebodies,” his cousin said with a grumble. “Whatever happened to the man I knew who partied till dawn and couldn’t be bothered with such things as commitment?”

Luca laughed. “You know that was ninety percent urban legend anyhow. It’s not like I really caroused that much.”

“Yeah, well, sometimes the legend is as true as fact.”

“That’s what’s wrong with this world.”

“You’ve become a grumpy old man.”

“Not grumpy. Happily settled is all,” Luca said. “You should give it a try sometime. No more out on the prowl, hoping to get laid without catching any communicable diseases. It’s a good thing.”

“Hell no,” Sandro said. “You do know about Gia’s latest—and final—batshit-crazy maneuver?”

“Of course,” Luca said. “I always suspected there was something off about that one. Even when you first started dating, she was irrationally demanding. Like when you dragged me to that godforsaken fashion show she was in just so she would have an audience.”

“Tell me about it,” he said. “Yet one more reason I will never cross paths with a fashion model again. Ever. Those women are the worst. I think they get hangry from lack of food and go totally pazzo.”

“Hangry?”

“It’s a combination of hungry and angry,” he said. “All the worse for Gia because she’s an Italian girl who can’t eat pasta. Mamma mia, what kind of life is that? Who wouldn’t be crazy-like?”

“Well, in that case I’d better apologize in advance because Larkin is bringing along her friend Taylor to your gala and, well…” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “She’s a fashion model.”

Sandro shook his head even though Luca couldn’t see him. “No, thank you. I’ll take a pass. You can have her all to yourself. If that’s your thing.”

“If what’s my thing?”

“If you want to hook up with her.”

“Are you crazy? I’m perfectly happy with Larkin. Not looking to add anyone into the relationship,” he said. “I was thinking maybe you’d like Taylor. She’s beautiful, of course. But she’s really sweet as well. Completely down-to-earth.”

“No. Models. Ever, dude,” he said. “Ever.”

“Be my guest. Go ahead and punish yourself,” Luca said. “But I think you’ll regret it. You’d be lucky if she’d have anything to do with you anyhow.”

“No doubt,” Sandro said. “But do me a favor, just keep her far, far from me. I want no part of any of those crazy women, and this is a night I intend to completely avoid erratic females with bad tempers. So whatever you do, spare me.”

“Fine,” he said. “I’ll respect your wishes. But don’t get mad at me when I say I told you so.”

“To the contrary, mio cugino, it’s for the best,” Sandro said even though his curiosity was already getting the best of him as he Googled supermodels named Taylor to see exactly what she looked like. Old habits, after all, were hard to break.

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Chapter Two

Nothing like a good black-tie party, Taylor McFarland thought, taking a final sip of champagne as her plane made its final approach in Florence. She’d get to dress in yet another amazing designer gown, and hot men in tuxedos would be plentiful. It was so up her alley. It was why she was on her way to Italy, and this one promised to be particularly fabulous—a spectacular venue in an architecturally creative structure built into the hillside at some Italian guy’s vineyard. And the wine would be flowing freely.

What’s not to love? Plus she was joining her good friend Larkin and Larkin’s boyfriend Luca, and she always had fun with the two of them. Talk about opposites attracting: Larkin had been such a quiet little mouse of a woman when they first met, and Luca, well, he was a prince, a bit of a bon vivant, and used to the limelight. It was lovely that the two of them had found each other, albeit after some struggles. Taylor had helped to spruce up Larkin’s appearance a bit, steering her away from the clothing-as-camouflage manner of dress, and Larkin had taken to it with a vengeance, had now practically achieved Taylor’s level of clothing obsession.

Luca had invited Taylor to join them and to stay at the palazzo owned by his winemaker cousin whose vineyard supposedly made one of the most famous wines in Tuscany. Luca had promised her he was a lot of fun, but Taylor wasn’t on the prowl anyhow. She was over dealing with men who were nothing but a pain in her butt, thank you. She was perfectly happy to just go and browse the merchandise without making a purchase. Besides, she didn’t have time for dalliances right now; she had much more important things to do than have to tag-team a long-distance relationship.

Taylor had recently started a charitable organization called Rags to Riches to help children who couldn’t afford to buy clothes piece together outfits that would allow them to not feel like outsiders. Having grown up in a household with a single mother who struggled to pay the bills each month, Taylor knew what it was like to show up to school in the same threadbare outfits all the time: it was demoralizing, and kids loved to taunt the ones who looked like they’d just come in off the streets.

If she had a dollar for every time kids called her white trash, she’d have had plenty of money to clothe herself as she was able to now that she had become a famous fashionista. So it was particularly gratifying to be able to help out other children. It might seem like a superficial thing, providing decent clothes to a kid, but having come from those very circumstances of lacking, she totally got what it meant to them and knew that even a little bit of window dressing could make a difference.

She figured a lot of powerful people with money would be in attendance at this event, and they were her favorite type to strong-arm into making fabulous donations. A Christie Brinkley look-alike with gentle, sun-bleached blond waves and soft blue eyes, the American supermodel was not beyond using her looks and stature to get what she wanted if it helped others in need. She knew wealthy men in particular would never turn down a gorgeous woman in a slinky evening gown soliciting them for funds. Which made her happy just as long as they didn’t presume she was soliciting anything else.

After a smooth landing, Taylor was off the plane quickly and through customs in no time at all. As she exited the security area with her luggage, she saw Larkin and Luca practically entwined on a bench near the entryway, oblivious to her existence while they made out like a couple of horny teenagers.

She wheeled her bag up to them and cleared her throat. “Ahem,” she said, crossing her arms and tapping her toe, staring at them both, her brow arched.

Larkin detached quickly and blushed. “Oh, Taylor! So sorry! Luca and I were just, uh, getting reacquainted after being apart for a few minutes while I ran to the restroom.”

Larkin grinned as her boyfriend swiped his finger along her lips to remove some excess saliva. Gross. Her friend stood up and gave Taylor a warm embrace.

“Please,” Taylor said, shaking her head as she hugged her friend. “I’m totally used to PDA when I’m around you two. I would have expected nothing less. I’m just impressed you kept your clothes on.”

Larkin gave her a playful smack.

It did make her laugh how Larkin had gone from such a wallflower to a bit of a wild child. It was nice to see her come into her own.

“I was merely expressing my affection for Luca like any true Italian would.”

“Only you’re not Italian.”

“When in Rome then?” Larkin grinned.

“We’re in Florence. Duh,” Taylor said.

“It doesn’t matter,” Luca reached for Larkin’s hand. “Soon she’ll be an official member of the Monaforte royal family. And that means she’ll technically even have some Italian ties, being that my father is one hundred percent hot-blooded Italian. She’ll practically be Italian herself.” He winked.

“Oh my God!” Taylor said with a squeal, pulling Larkin into a hug. “You two are getting married? What? When? How? And I won’t ask why, because, well, that’s obvious.” She grabbed Larkin’s left hand and lifted it up to inspect the three-stone crown-set ring with a center ruby surrounded by old European-cut diamonds.

“It’s from Monaforte’s crown jewel collection,” Luca said. “I consulted with my mother before choosing it, but it belonged to the only other blond member of the royal family, a very distant great-great-great-grandmother or something. Mum thought it would be fitting for Larkin to have this ring.”

“It’s stunning, Larks,” Taylor said, holding her hands up to her face in surprise. “I’m just so overwhelmed about this! But I want to know all the details!”

“So we’d just spent a few days in Venice,” she said. “On the last evening, before a breathtaking sunset on the Grand Canal in front of the Piazza San Marco, we were being serenaded by our gondolier when Luca got down on one knee and asked for my hand!”

“I can’t even believe it,” Taylor said. “Fairy-tale perfect. Wow. I’m so glad there are still romantic men in the world. I was starting to think they all died in the Pleistocene era.”

Luca laughed, scrubbing his hands in his hair. “Were there humans back then? Or were we still mollusks?”

Taylor rolled her eyes. “I think humans were just getting started then. Nothing personal, but men are still mollusks if you ask me.”

He gave her two thumbs-up. “Thanks for that vote of confidence.”

“Aww, poor Taylor has plenty of reason to be sour on men,” Larkin said, squeezing her friend’s hand. “What’s it been, like five guys in a row who ended up only wanting to be with you because you’re a model? And when they found out you actually did things with your life other than look beautiful and decorate their arms, they walked away? I think the problem is you’ve got to find the right man and not the troglodytes you’ve been dating.”

“Yeah, no more men who want to drag me by the hair back to the cave so I can prepare a fat brontosaurus steak for him.”

“I don’t know about you, but all this talk of prehistory is making me hungry,” Luca said, rubbing his stomach. “In fact, a good, bloody Florentine steak sounds awesome.”

“I’m with you,” Taylor said. “I had just enough champagne on the plane to remind me I haven’t eaten since my measly croissant at breakfast.”

“Perfect,” Larkin said. “We’ve got reservations for dinner in Florence, and we’ll drive down to Sandro’s afterward.”

Taylor scrunched her nose. “Speaking of troglodytes. I know you guys want to fix me up with him, but really, I am so not interested.”

“Oh stop,” Larkin said, waving her hand dismissively. “He’s a really sweet guy once you get to know him. I thought he was a jerk at first too, but honestly, I think you’ll like him.”

“Wow. There’s a ringing endorsement,” Taylor said, arching her brow. “At any rate, you’re sure it’s okay with my tagging along? I mean I’m happy to come to this big fête, but I don’t want to be an imposition.”

“First off, you, my dear, would never be an imposition,” Luca said. “Secondly, my cousin Alessandro won’t even know you’re there, the place is that big. It’s a palace, literally. A gigantic Renaissance palazzo. It could be days until he knows if any of us are there. Plus I’m sure he’s going to be at the new building overseeing the finishing touches. So no worries.”

Taylor shrugged. “Okay, if you’re sure. I’d just hate to have the man be mad that I’m invading his space.”

Luca shook his head. “Not at all. Besides, he’s always had a thing for models.”

Taylor shook her head. Yet one more reason she would have exactly nothing to do with him.

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Chapter Three

It was well after midnight when Sandro heard the crunch of tires on the pebbled driveway. That was the thing about living in the rural countryside: you inevitably picked up the slightest sounds late at night, so not much got past Sandro. It’s why he still kicked himself that he hadn’t heard Crazy Gia barreling up the driveway when she came to destroy his beloved car.

Ahhh… Gia… The only good thing about what happened with her was finally casting the woman from his life once and for all. That at least afforded him the chance to focus on important things, like overseeing the many finishing touches on his baby, his labor of love; the time was finally upon him to share it with the world, so it was essential he not be distracted with her nonsense.

The bad news of course was his car was a total loss. As was their relationship, though victory was perhaps a more appropriate description of the fallout: he was more than happy to have a restraining order taken out against the woman, which meant finally he could be done with her hotheaded reprisals, most of which were rooted in her own fantasy world of unfounded mistrust. The security guards had changed the passcode on the entrance gate to the palazzo, and unless Gia wanted to trek through the dense woods in the steep Chianti hillside surrounding his property to try to get back at him again, she was out of luck. Hopefully she’d move on to haunt some other poor sucker. And now, with his lesson well learned, Sandro had called it quits on women for a while; they weren’t worth the hassle, and he had the stiletto scar and the charred vehicle to prove it.

As the tires on gravel came to a stop, he heard the chatter of voices out front and then car doors slamming and knew it had to be Luca and company, so he shut down his computer at his desk, closed off the lights in his office, and hastened down the hall to greet his houseguests. The staff was off at this hour, and the rest of the household had long since retreated to bed; each of his brothers occupied a wing of the palazzo. They had complete autonomy and could choose whether to be together or on their own throughout the course of the day. Each of them took on different duties in the running of the company, so there was little stepping on toes since they all enjoyed complete independence over day-to-day issues.

Sandro stepped onto the open-air loggia at the front of the house just as his guests arrived.

“Ciao, Luca,” he said, reaching his arms out and embracing his friend as he kissed his cheeks and asked how he was doing. “Come va?”

Benissimo, grazie,” Luca said. “I’m great, thank you. And you remember Larkin?” He extended his arm toward her.

“Of course,” Sandro said. “The most beautiful Larkin, looking stellar as usual.” They exchanged a two-cheek kiss.

“And this is Larkin’s good friend Taylor,” Luca said. “Taylor, I’d like you to meet my cousin Alessandro.”

Piacere,” Taylor said, telling him she was pleased to meet him. “Thank you so much for your hospitality.”

Sandro extended his hand to shake hers just as she reached out to kiss his cheeks, and what resulted was a completely awkward greeting that left her blushing and him wondering what it was with American women that they couldn’t read up on protocol when in a different country.

Luca and Larkin laughed to offset the awkwardness of the moment, but they then all stood in silence for a moment.

Taylor broke the uncomfortable quiet by reaching for a gift she’d forgotten to hand to him when they were introduced. “I was just in France, and well, when in Paris…”

Sandro untied the large silver bow and pulled a bottle of Bordeaux from the package. He looked at the bottle for a minute, not sure if it was a serious gift or a joke of some sort. Because who would bring a gift of wine to a man who oversaw one of Tuscany’s premier wine empires? No doubt it was a perfectly fine bottle of wine, but still… It wasn’t anywhere near as good as his own, of that he felt certain.

“Ahhh. Vino. Grazie mille,” he said, staring at the label. “I’m sure we’ll enjoy this.” He cocked his brow, and Luca threw him the side eye.

“I’m sure Taylor thought a wine connoisseur such as yourself always likes to sample the competition.”

“But of course,” Sandro said, rubbing his beard as a distraction. He was a little tripped up with the arrival of Larkin’s friend because it was as if a strong wind had momentarily blown away his bad feelings toward the fairer sex, ushering in a gentle and soothing sea breeze; she was that breathtakingly beautiful. She was tall, with endless legs he couldn’t stop staring at, and soft, wavy blond hair. Her eyes were the shade of azure you might encounter along the shores of the Amalfi Coast—the type of water that lures you against your better judgment to take just a tiny dip. She was like no woman he’d ever encountered before. Yet he knew even then the chances of the water being an agreeable temperature were not so great, and beneath the surface, who knew what dangerous creatures loomed? His gut reminded him he was far wiser to avoid the potential risk to life and limb. Worse yet take a chance of diving into too-shallow water and breaking his neck.

Beauty was no longer going to be that demanding football coach that would bark commands at his subservient cock. No way. Beauty had gotten him into deep trouble with Crazy Gia, so he was going to hang up his figurative cleats, which meant ignoring the siren call of a gorgeous woman for his own sanity, not to mention the sake of his replacement car.

“So,” Luca said, rubbing his hands together as Taylor strolled along the loggia, inspecting the ancient statues that graced the terrace-like area. “We had a great meal in Firenze, just me and my fiancée and her best friend.” His face broke into a large grin as Larkin held up her left hand, wiggling her ring finger so that Sandro would notice.

His cousin knit his brow. “Surely I didn’t hear what I thought I just heard.”

Luca nodded. “It’s true, my friend. Your cousin has fallen hard. Looks like it’s your turn next.”

Sandro held his hands up in false surrender. “Are you completely pazzo? You must be crazy to think I would ever fall prey to such a disease.”

Larkin frowned. “Wait a minute. I’m not sure if I should be insulted by that comment.”

“I think the polite thing to do would be to extend your heartfelt congratulations and then keep your mouth shut,” Taylor said, throwing Sandro some shade as she stood up for her friend.

Sandro’s brow furrowed deep enough to plant a row of grapevines in. “I beg your pardon?”

“As well you should,” she said, half glaring at him.

“My comments had nothing to do with these two lovebirds,” he said, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. “But rather are simply a reflection of my own wishes.”

“That’s fine if you aren’t interested in being married,” Taylor said. “But you came across as disapproving of them, and I don’t want you creating a rift between ‘these two lovebirds’ with your insensitivity.”

“My insensitivity?”

“If the shoe fits.”

Luca raised his hands. “Children,” he said, clapping his hands to get them in line. “We’re going to have to break up this schoolyard brawl. It’s late, and I know if I don’t get eight hours of sleep, well, I’m going to be a bear in the morning.”

“It’s okay, you can be my cozy bear,” Larkin said as she reached for his hand, which made Sandro about gag.

Mio cugino,” Sandro said. “My cousin. I didn’t mean to insult anyone. Let’s first toast your wonderful news with our private cellar reserve grappa. I don’t take this out for just anyone.”

He led them inside to a private study with a small bar, then pulled out four glasses and poured the light amber liquid. He handed a glass to each of his guests.

Salute e benessere,” he said, nodding to Luca and Larkin. “To the happy couple: to health and wellness.”

Cin cin,” Luca said, tipping his glass to Larkin’s, then Taylor’s.

“As you know, to be a winemaker is to be a risk taker, yet also to know great patience,” Sandro said. “It sounds much like the role of a husband.” He laughed, and Luca joined with him. Larkin smiled a tepid smile, the type women make if someone asks when the due date is when they’re actually just overweight. Not a smile with sincerity behind it but rather more of a cringe. Taylor, on the other hand, grimaced.

Larkin leaned over and whispered in her friend’s ear. “So maybe I was wrong that you and Alessandro would hit it off,” she said. “But you’re here now, so please don’t worry about defending my honor. I’m totally fine, and I really don’t want to make waves. Just roll with it, okay?”

Taylor heaved a sigh. “Fine. But if he keeps up with the insults, he might just find himself on the receiving end of my wrath. And I’m pretty sure he would live to regret that.”

Luca leaned in to speak in hushed tones with his cousin. “I see you’ve not gotten past the whole Gia episode then?”

He growled. “Gotten past? It’s hardly been two months. I haven’t even had a chance to tackle my insurance claims on the car, let alone deal with the emotional fallout.”

Luca lifted an eyebrow. “Emotional fallout? Who are you fooling? You didn’t care much for Gia for a long time. I’m pretty sure the emotional fallout ends in a Euro sign and is all about your car.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, so, okay. I wasn’t all that bereft when it ended. Finally.” One side of his mouth lifted in an impish grin.

“So then why the cranky behavior?” Luca said. “You’re not making a good first impression on our guest.”

Sandro shook his head. “I want to make it abundantly clear that I am off-limits to your guest and to any other female who might happen into my little space in the world. I don’t want her—or any woman, for that matter—to mistake me for someone who cares.”

“Ouch,” Luca said. “You’re sounding a bit bitter.”

Sandro rubbed his hands together, then lifted them into the air as if in defeat. “Maybe,” he said, running his hands through his hair. “More like weary. Weary of all the nonsense I went through with Gia, but also just tired. I suppose I’ve been so bowled over with this big project. I’m working too hard, not sleeping enough—”

“Not getting laid,” Luca said. “I know you, Sandro. You’re cranky because you’re not getting any.”

“Oh stop,” he said. “It’s why God gave us hands.”

Luca laughed out loud, causing both the women to look at him. “A poor substitute, as you well know.”

“Maybe so, but my motto is any port in a storm,” Sandro said. “For now I’ll settle for a poor substitute, which at least won’t make me poor by destroying the next four-hundred-thousand-euro car I get.”

Luca playfully shoved his cousin. “Fine,” he said, waving his hands to dismiss him. “Be stubborn. But I sure don’t know why you’d settle for a box of dried raisins when you have a bunch of lush, lovely grapes hanging right in front of you, ripe for the picking if you played your cards right.”

Sandro rolled his eyes. “By that I assume you’re not suggesting I go make love to my grapevines but rather pursue her?” He nodded his head toward Taylor.

“Uh, that might get pretty uncomfortable, what with all those sharp stick things poking off them,” Luca said. “But if I were you, I’d pluck the low-hanging fruit that’s dangling right before your eyes. And maybe then the two of you could make love amidst your grapevines if you really wanted to incorporate that into your sexual experience. After all, you’re an Italian man. Hardly one to shy away from a little fun. Try it, you might like it.”

“I might like to have my balls waxed bare with hot paraffin too, but I highly doubt it,” he said, turning to the women. “On that note, I think it’s time to retire, my friends. I’ll show you to your rooms and wish you a buona notte.”

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Chapter Four

Taylor had been looking forward to arriving at Luca’s cousin’s vineyard. After all, a weekend at a beautiful retreat in the heart of Italy’s wine country sounded like the perfect way to spend some downtime.

After a long stroll through Florence and an amazing four-course meal on a small rooftop terrace overlooking the Arno River, she enjoyed the scenic ride to Sandro’s in Luca’s charcoal-gray Alfa Romeo Giulia, fighting sleep the whole way. It had been a long day, and she was ready to settle down for the night. After arriving at Sandro’s palatial estate, they got out of the car and Taylor just stood for a moment, her senses alive with the sights and sounds of this beautiful countryside. She’d traveled the world enough to know that Tuscany was one of her happy places. Aside from the food, the wine, and the people, the inherent beauty and serenity of the countryside really spoke to her and soothed her soul.

Cooler night air had slipped in unannounced, and she rubbed her bare arms against the slight chill as she focused her attention on the chorus of emerging cicadas, the croak of tree frogs, the call of blackbirds, and the rustle of leaves in the night breeze as if transfixed by a beautiful symphony. The inky sky was aglow with twinkling fireflies, and the place felt downright magical.

“So this is it,” Luca said, spreading his arms. “Not a bad place to spend the weekend, right?”

Taylor shrugged. “Beats sleeping on the streets.” She smiled to herself, considering that during her childhood there had been times when she was a little too close to that reality for comfort. “It’s absolutely perfect, Luca. Thanks so much for inviting me. I think it will be an amazing weekend.”

The perfume of roses hung heavy in the air, and as she passed several rosebushes, Taylor bent down to breathe in the aroma, aware of the lone hoot of an owl in the distance. “I think I’m going to love this place.”

She’d taken her shoes off in the car and carried them as she climbed the staircase toward the open-air loggia. The warmth of the terra-cotta tile warmed her feet, and she felt as one with the place, as if she belonged there. It was a shame the feeling didn’t last long, because once she met Luca’s arrogant cousin, she couldn’t help but think she wanted to get far, far away from him and anything to do with him. She’d have been in the first Uber out of the place were that an option. Unfortunately, she didn’t think she even had a cell signal, let alone Uber service, out here.

She resolved to accept her fate for the next few days as she was to be a guest of a man clearly taken by his own self-importance, one she’d rather give a swift kick in the shins than a kiss on the lips. And when he’d started making acerbic remarks about Luca and Larkin’s engagement, she had to clench her fists to her sides to not reach out and smack him one just to shut him up. She worried maybe he’d poisoned the grappa he shared with them in the celebratory toast to the happy couple just to keep them from marrying, he was so cynical about women and relationships in general. What a buzzkill. Oh well, she wasn’t going to let his bad mood impact her temperament.

The jovial little drinks celebration couldn’t have ended soon enough, so she was thrilled when he announced he was going to show them all to their rooms.

“If you just point the way, I’m sure I can find it,” Taylor said, hoping to get away from Sandro before she was forced to feed him more of her mind.

“That won’t be possible,” he said.

She knit her brows. “Anything’s possible. Try me. I’ve got a good sense of direction. I promise you won’t have to send out a search party.”

“Why don’t Sandro and I grab the bags and you girls wait here for us,” Luca said, his idea a little pickax breaking the ice in the room.

“Don’t worry, Luca. I’m perfectly happy to get my own suitcase,” Taylor said. “You don’t need to do that.”

Sandro frowned and held his hand out as she tried to follow them down the steps to Luca’s car. “Stay there. I’ve got it.”

Taylor rolled her eyes behind his back. “Where’d you find that loser?” she asked her friend.

“Stop,” Larkin said. “He’s really not usually like this. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

“I think a bloated ego is it.”

“Really, he’s normally very nice.”

“If this is nice, I’d hate to see him behaving badly.”

“Well,” Larkin said. “Looks like you two are destined for happiness together.” She laughed.

“Honestly,” Taylor said. “What a crank he is. I’d no sooner consider even a brief fling with him than I’d contemplate a one-way ticket to Mars.”

“Nothing personal, but I think the feeling might be mutual,” a deep voice behind her said.

Taylor looked over her shoulder to see her host standing there, her suitcase in one of his hands, her garment bag in the other. He had a half grin on his face, and she wasn’t sure if that meant he was trying to be funny or he was just enjoying busting her making a rude remark about him.

“Oh, um, uh,” Taylor said. As much as she was unimpressed with the man, she didn’t want him to know she thought he was a rude git.

“Luca,” Sandro said, not dwelling on their unpleasant exchange. “You two will stay in the usual place. I’ll show your friend Princess Charming to her room.” He smirked at her.

Great. Now not only was the man a complete jerk, but on top of it all he also knew that she thought he was. She was just going to have to resign herself to making the most of this weekend and at least trying to leverage this party to raise funds for her charity. At least then something good would come of it.

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Chapter Five

What a sassy thing she was, Sandro thought as he overheard her busting his balls. Here he thought he’d figured that one out already, pegging her as the typical clothes-obsessed, status-oriented me! me! me! fashion-model type. And maybe she was that. But she had a little spark to her—albeit a combustible one—which was, he really hated to admit it, intriguing as hell. He sort of liked it when someone gave him shit, especially when he deserved it.

He knew he’d been a complete prick tonight; he somehow just couldn’t help himself. What was he thinking, embarrassing poor Larkin like that? Just because his relationships had led to trouble didn’t mean that Luca and Larkin wouldn’t be perfectly happy together. Statistically unlikely, but, well, stranger things had happened in the world.

He wasn’t sure why the idea of them pairing up for all eternity bothered him so much. Was it because she was taking his playmate away from him for good? Even he knew that was completely childish. He was a grown man—he couldn’t carouse like a twenty-year-old forever. Not that he even got to carouse when he was twenty—maybe that was the real issue with him. But wasn’t he allowed to be at least a little bit possessive about this? He and Luca had been friends far longer than Luca had been in love with Larkin. And yet here he’d been instantly supplanted by the woman. It sort of sucked.

Damn, it was downright surprising what a good shagging could lead to. At least he assumed that was what was behind his engagement—why else would the man give up his freedom if it weren’t for an amazing lay? Though even Sandro wouldn’t yield in that regard. He’d had plenty of mind-blowing sex before, yet never was it worth abandoning your freedom forever. Hell no! Life was too short for that sacrifice. He might as well skewer himself on a spit and be left on the altar as a sacrifice to the gods.

In the meantime, he was stuck being a polite host to this feisty thing he couldn’t help but be a little bit curious about, even as he wished he could send her back to wherever she came from before he did something really stupid like listen to his damned libido that was telling him to take advantage of her proximity. Christ, it had been too long since he’d had proper sex. He was going to have to take matters into his own hands as it were, just as soon as he showed her to her room. Otherwise, he was going to be on tenterhooks the whole bloody weekend.

They walked down a long, dark corridor overflowing with antique busts, statues, and paintings. Sandro always felt reassured when wandering the hallways of this vast palazzo: these were his people surrounding him, his history embracing him every waking moment. His successes rested on the shoulders of so many generations before him, and he felt enormous pressure not just to maintain but to exceed his ancestors’ impressive achievements in order to ensure that Romeo wines remained the best in all of Italy.

“I’m really perfectly capable of carrying my own things,” Taylor said, trying to relieve him of her garment bag, but Sandro pulled it out of her reach.

“Wouldn’t hear of it,” he said. “What sort of gentleman would I be then?”

She threw him a sidelong glance. “Uh, maybe you didn’t get the memo.”

He let out a laugh. “Right. So far you’ve been unimpressed with my manners. That’s okay. I get that. You need to understand that Luca and I go way back, and I can say things to him that perhaps are inappropriate for the tender ears of outsiders.”

She remained silent, but he could see she was glaring again.

“What?” he said. “What did I say now?”

“It’s sort of rude to suggest that I’m not a friend of Luca and Larkin’s,” she said. “I might not be the almighty BFF to Luca that you are, but I’m hardly an ‘outsider.’” She made demonstrative air quotes to drive home her point.

He stopped for a moment and held up his hands in surrender. “Fine,” he said. “No harm meant. I was just speaking off the cuff. I didn’t realize I had to have my speech vetted before you could hear any of it.”

Her eyes grew wide. “I think you’d better just quit before you do something crazy, like put your foot in your mouth. Oh, too late. You already did that.” She snatched her garment bag from his hands and quickly walked ahead of him.

“Feel free to lead the way, but you haven’t a clue where you’re headed.”

She slowed down and let him pass her with a grimace on her face. Clearly she had no plans to walk alongside him.

“I hope you don’t mind your room not being near your friend. Luca always stays in the same room when he visits—he even keeps spare supplies there so he doesn’t have to carry them with him,” he said. “Besides, I thought I’d put you up in a room that overlooks the valley below. The sunrise is spectacular here—if you can get up early enough to witness it.”

“I’ll be sure to set my alarm.”

Damn, she sure sounded like she was being a smart-ass there.

“The only downside is you’re across the hall from me. Which I’m sure won’t be a problem for you as I can assure you I won’t bother you at all. At any rate, breakfast is served on the terrace until nine,” he said. “And no doubt with your innate tracking skills, you’ll be able to find your way there without any problems.”

She smirked at him. “I think I can follow the smell, thanks.”

“In that case, we’ve arrived at your room. I hope you have a comfortable night’s sleep.”

He opened the door, set her suitcase on an antique luggage rack, and dipped in a sarcastic bow as he left the room without another word. The last thing he wanted to do was spend even a minute more in that woman’s presence considering the state of sexual desperation he was currently in and the fact that he found her far more intriguing on so many levels than he’d ever care to admit.

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K is for Kick-ass...welcome to the Chick Lit A to Z scavenger hunt!

K is for KICKASS…I love a good kickass heroine, and I think you find them a lot in chick lit novels, which is likely why I was drawn to chick lit so many years ago.

Over the years the genre has evolved considerably: no longer is it the exclusive domain of the lonely-young-woman-in-the-city-with-shite-boyfriend-and-crap-job-and-expensive-shoe-habit-and-trusty-gay-male-best-friend-who-helps-her-get-her-act-together. Instead chick lit offers protagonists of all ages and stripes, and sure, they’re flawed–though often they’re funny and strong and determined and maybe a little misguided–but that’s why we love them, right? 

I’m one of millions who fell in love with the chick lit voice with books like Bridget Jones’s Diary. And while Bridget was indeed extremely imperfect, she was also hilarious and honest and charmingly self-deprecating and totally kick-ass because she didn’t let those flaws get in her way when she wanted what it was she wanted (and who wouldn’t, if the prize was Mark Darcy?). 

I read a lot of British chick lit books in the early days of the genre, and that funny, smart aleck-y, strong, kick-ass voice totally spoke to me, and it’s what drew me into writing my first novel, Sleeping with Ward Cleaver, a coming-of-middle-aged novel about a woman who married Mr. Right only to wake up years later to realize he’d become Mr. Always Right. My heroine in that novel, Claire, had to totally kick some ass (including her own, sort of) as she reconciled herself with where things had gone completely wrong in her world, but she does it, and does so with aplomb. 

Nowadays whatever genre I’m writing in, I migrate to that same type of protagonist in my novels, because I love a little bit damaged women who are not afraid to take names and kick some ass. 

Thanks so much for stopping by! Oh, and before you move onto the next site in the scavenger hunt, don’t forget to sign up here for my newsletter and you get a great prize: a digital copy of Something in the Heir, book 1 of my It’s Reigning Men series!  

GRAND PRIZE – Want to win a Kindle Paperwhite + a $100 Amazon gift card? Visit each of the 26 stops on the #ChickLitMay A to Z Scavenger Hunt and collect the alphabet word at each stop (A, B, C, D, etc.), then submit the A-Z list of words via e-mail to traciebanister@gmail.com with the subject line “A to Z Scavenger Hunt Entry.” Entries will be accepted until Sunday, May 22nd at midnight E.D.T. A winner will be chosen on Monday, May 23rd. Good luck!

The next stop on the Scavenger Hunt (the letter L) is here.

If you’d like to start back at the beginning of the Scavenger Hunt (the letter A), go here

Oh and I’ve got a book coming out May 24! It’s It’s Getting Hot in Heir, book 7 in my It’s Reigning Men series! I hope you’ll check it out as it’s available for pre-order:

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Sometimes falling in love can be a royal pain…

Gabriella Puccini, Contessa of Castiglione Girasole, is tired of having to sacrifice everything for the men in her life. So when she finally realizes that her fiancé would rather be married to his career than to her, she decides to go back to where it all began to figure out why she keeps settling for the wrong men, only to encounter her childhood crush, who couldn’t be more wrong for her…

Edouardo Squires-Thornton has been decidedly down on his luck. Unceremoniously sidestepped for the family inheritance upon his beloved father’s death, Edouardo has spent months adrift, feeling lost and confused, barely mustering the energy to do much but watch bad reality TV in his boxers. But when he’s tricked into an unexpected meeting with childhood sweetheart Gabriella, will Edouardo decide it’s time to pull on his big boy pants and figure out his life?