The Girlfriends’ Cyber Circuit is up and running again after what seemed to be a bit of a lag and I’ve got back-to-back guest authors stopping by for a visit. Today please welcome Samantha Wilde, whose debut, THIS LITTLE MOMMY STAYED HOME (Bantam Trade/available now) is a fresh and funny novel about a new mother who discovers the wonders and terrors of motherhood—one hilarious crisis at a time.

The novel introduces Joy McGuire, who has gone from being skinny and able to speak in complete sentences to someone who hasn’t changed her sweatpants in weeks. But now with a new baby to care for, she feels like a woman on the brink and as she scrambles to recapture the person she used to be she takes another look at the woman she is: a stay-at-home mom in love with her son, if a bit addled about everything else. As a new mom herself, Wilde, a graduate of Yale Divinity School, wrote THIS LITTLE MOMMY STAYED HOME after the birth of her son when she was experiencing the ups and downs of new motherhood.

With THIS LITTLE MOMMY STAYED HOME, Samantha Wilde brings a candid and hilarious light to the universal story of new motherhood.

Welcome, Sam!

I will be forever grateful for the Commonwealth of Virginia for having the foresight to establish the pre-paid college tuition program. Way back when the program started and my husband was so hot to sign up for it, I was wary–it seemed way too good to be true. I almost nixed the notion but he insisted. But now that we’ve got kids of college age, it’s been a real financial blessing, at a time when we needed it most.

However I really wish Virginia had also thought to launch a pre-paid psychological counseling program as well. Be it for kids or for parents, well, you decide. But let’s face it: you can’t easily get out of the parent/child relationship without the need for a shrink, and frankly, therapy can rank up there with college tuition in terms of the big bucks.

With nearly two decades of parenting under my belt, I’ve drawn a few conclusions about little people (in age, not stature). One is that humans are genetically pre-programmed to have particular food tastes. I know, I know, this notion seems ludicrous. And it might be. But hear me out. Take me, for instance. Loathing of all things nutritional from infancy, I was weaned by default on Froot Loops and Sugar Pops. This fact ranks up there in my childhood lore right alongside tales of one of my earliest spoken words: “thit” (I had a lisp. And no, the word wasn’t a command to be seated).

this was definitely not me as a baby

But as one who perceived vegetables as something not intended for human consumption, I could never quite relate to someone choosing to be a vegetarian. Foreign concept, thank you. I know everyone says that you if you make the kid eat it, he will. No way.

My oldest child will eat most anything and sometimes prefers the weirder the better. I’ll never forget shopping with him at Fresh Fields when he was about 10 and he begged me to buy him octopus. Octopus? I can cook most anything, but I draw the line at creatures with suction cups.

Our middle child declared herself a vegetarian at the ripe old age of eight, purely out of empathy for her fellow creatures. It helps, though, that she loves—actually prefers—vegetables. And this child sprung from my loins? Our number three takes right after me. Learned early on to purse her lips so tight that nary a veggie could pass through the gateway to her gullet. Perfectly happy to eat all things bad-for-you, spent quite a few crucial developmental years eating only hot dogs.

So getting back to the therapy. The youngest child, who thrashed, flailed, and otherwise made mealtimes quite uncomfortable if the concept of mandatory vegetables was ever implemented, announced to us the other day in an accusatory voice, “You should’ve forced me to eat vegetables when I was little.”

Um, hello, Dr. Freud? No, not in that way. I merely mean that I think I need a shrink, because I cannot believe that this child is now blaming us for her childhood obstinacy. After all those countless jars of Gerber’s spinach she splattered all over my face (can’t exactly blame her—have you ever smelled that stuff?), even the sweet potatoes that weren’t sweet enough for her. I vividly recall a temper tantrum that drew dinner to a halt over her having to eat a no thank you bite—a mere bite!—of a cherry tomato when she was eight.

Headstrong, thy name is offspring.

And then there was the dreaded summer camp debacle. For years we pleaded and cajoled with our kids to get them to agree to attend summer camp. Try as we might, those kids wouldn’t budge. “No camp,” they all moaned. “Never!” To be honest, when they refused, we didn’t force the issue too much because camps were always pretty expensive and well, who wants to pay for something the kid’s gonna hate? I sure didn’t want our kids needing therapy because we forced them to go away during summer vacation.

Cue last week at dinner when my son said, “You should’ve forced me to go to camp.” Piping in were the other two, entirely irate at our irresponsible parenting. So instead of them needing therapy because we forced them to go to camp, we’ll need it because they now blame us for not forcing them to go to camp. Get the picture? Virginia? I’m waiting!

Alas, if I had a dollar for all the parenting mandates they’ve told us we’ve failed upon, well, maybe I could start funding that Virginia counseling program myself. I’m still waiting for the kids to blame me for not making them clean their rooms more. And the girls for me not teaching them how to sew and cook (tried that, to no avail).

In lieu of that therapy fund, though, I think I’ll resort to what I’ve known best since my childhood days: Froot Loops. A big bowl, no milk, because really, who wants to add anything nutritional to that?

dig in!

Geeze, I must have been writing fiction for longer than I realized because I started to think how long I’ve known Candace Havens from various writing groups online and I can’t remember, it’s been that long. And we’ve been doing it long enough to have witnessed trends come and go, and come back around again. Candy’s got a new book in her latest paranormal series featuring the Caruthers sisters, aka “party girls who save the world–between cocktails,” this one titled Dragons Prefer Blondes. When not writing fiction, Candy Havens is a journalist who has interviewed most of the big names in Hollywood today, and has a regular slot on KSCS in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. Please welcome Candy Havens!

JG: Tell me a little about your book.

CH: In “Dragons Prefer Blondes” Alex Caruthers is a socialite who knows when it’s time to turn in her dancing shoes and kick some serious dragon booty. But she soon finds herself in big trouble with a dragon warrior. For help she turns to Jake, head of Caruthers security—and a total hottie in a suit—and asks him to pose as her boyfriend. Their relationship might be fake, but Alex can’t deny that Jake makes her burn hotter than any dragon could.

JG: What got you writing in the genre in which you write.

CH: I’ve always been a fan of touch chicks and magic. Shows like Buffy, Alias and La Femme Nikita always appealed to me. I knew I wanted to write something along those lines but with some kind of paranormal/magic tie-in. That’s how Charmed & Dangerous was born. I’ve managed to mix those two things for all of my books. Though, I am trying something new for Harlequin Blaze, which will debut in Feb. 2010. (smile)

JG: Favorite thing about being a writer?

CH: It’s so hard to pick one. I’d say being able to go to work in my yoga pants and t-shirts, and the kind letters from fans. Those letters get me through the tough days.

JG: Least favorite thing about being a writer?

CH: The business side. I’m told I’m good at it, but promoting and all of that takes so much time away from writing. Some day I swear I’m hiring minions to take care of all of that.

JG: What is the most interesting thing that’s happened to you since becoming a published author?

CH: Filming Nora Roberts in the toilet. Please, let me explain. I was the camerawoman for an episode of AuthorTalk, which is an online show done by authors Gena Showalter and Jill Monroe. I help them out whenever we are all in the same place, and I had the chance to film the Nora Roberts interview. Part of it included her fixing a hotel toilet, and I was standing in the shower, shooting the scene. It was one of the funniest moments of my life. I also saw what a great sport Nora was. I plan to be like that when I grow up and have 100s of books on the shelves. (smile)

JG: What’s your favorite type of pie?

CH: Again, making me pick one is not fair. I am a lover of all pie. But if I had to choose a pie or die, it would be chocolate silk pie. That stuff just melts in your mouth. (See how I did that without offending the other pies?) :-)

Thanks so much for letting me hang out!